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« il: Ottobre 02, 2019, 02:35:06 am »
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Flirt unlinked: The 8 beginner seducer mistakes
It's finally Saturday night! The week has passed, and we have been anxious for the weekend to come and be able to go out to flirt.
Focusing only on flirting will not help us in any case. Excessive motivation can affect our effectiveness and will cause us to go home alone and defeated if we do not achieve our sole objective. Are you one of those who go out at night with the only thought of approaching all the women who cross you to see if any bites? You are using a wrong, very wrong strategy.
If you feel like it, take a look at this post: "10 ways to be more attractive (scientifically proven)"
We have to learn to flirt without flirting!
Flirt without flirting, is it possible?
I guess you'll be thinking: what the hell is this "flirt without flirting"?
Well, it may seem like a tautology or a nonsense, but it is a philosophy that increasingly works for more men who want to meet women. If you keep reading, you will understand why some things work when it comes to seducing girls while others lead us to failure.
8 seductive beginner mistakes and 8 solutions to improve your social skills
Although this statement seems strange, then we will explain eight mistakes that we all usually make when we meet girls, and eight solutions to learn to have fun and not focus on flirting.
1. Go out to flirt
As we have pointed out in the introduction, if we devote all our energies and time to flirting and talking to girls, we will be betting everything on one letter and, if we fail, this will affect our self-esteem. Flirting is just one more thing we can do in a social context. An interesting thing, no doubt, but not the only or the most important.
We have to keep in mind that it is more positive to have fun and socialize with all kinds of people, whatever their sex. Starting to talk with our friends and acquaintances and have fun with them will help us forget to flirt and relax us.
2. There is the girl of my dreams, I will leave her speechless flaunting my sympathy and my gift of people
A girl is at the bar with a friend, we are attracted and we feel the urgent need to link her. We think of an ingenious way to approach and impress her and, when we decide to talk to her, we feel that fear invades and paralyzes us.
We don't have to impress anyone. We have not come to do fireworks or a show of something as simple as talking to someone. We have to adapt to the social skills we possess at that time. It's not about liking anyone: it's about meeting someone. Important nuance If we give a lot of importance to the interaction, we will most likely be invaded by the fear of failure and doing something wrong. The most successful thing will be to approach that girl immediately with humility and try to have fun with her. A simple hello, sometimes, works better than the most ingenious phrase in the world.
3. Get out of here!
We have gotten closer to her; We have it in front of us and we see that it is as beautiful as it seemed from afar. We look at it and realize that it looks serious and tired. The fear of rejection invades us again, we turn and leave from there in a hurry, before we drop a border or even talk to us and turn our faces.
We have already pointed out that we should approach a girl to have fun and not to flirt with her. But it is likely that, although we have assumed this concept, we are still afraid of feeling rejected. The girls, especially in a disco, are accustomed and saturated to be the target of the eyes and receive thousands of comments from boys who want to connect with them. It is normal that they do not like that "another heavy" approach.
For this reason, we have to understand sportily that many look at us in a hostile way. We do not take it into account and we apologize for your initial reluctance. Let's keep wanting to have fun and if you don't accept our door open to fun, they miss it. And if, in addition, it is impolite with us, let us pity its lack of tact; We will find someone educated that deserves our attention.
4. You feel sorry!
We return, with our group of friends, happy and happy because we have unmasked one more unfriendly. It has not affected us at all and we have also had fun with failure, but our friends think differently: they tell us that we are ridiculous by behaving like this and that we are ashamed of others; We should do like them and not try to be what we are not. We bow our heads and, in silence, we think they are right: we swear never to approach a girl in what remains at night.
If our friends have paid a ticket to stay drinking, watch life pass in front of their noses and all they can do is put sticks on the wheels, it is their problem, not ours. We don't have to be ashamed of our interest in meeting new people and having fun with it. And if they don't understand it and keep laughing at us, maybe we should start asking who our friends really are.
5. This is a club
We have been in that place for more than an hour, we look around and discover that we do not like the music they play or the party attendees.
It is important that we choose the places we go well because our main objective is to have fun and feel comfortable. If we don't like music and feel we have nothing in common with anyone, we will feel like "weirdoes." Next time we should think better where we want to go. That will make things easier for us. If we have things in common with the attendees, it will be easier to feel one of them and, probably, we will have more things to share with them and, therefore, it will be easier for us to start a conversation, for example, about tastes and hobbies.
6. I need one more drink
To try to disinhibit ourselves and start showing ourselves more sociable, we invest money and time in drinking alcohol.
Drinking will not help us. It may make us feel more sociable temporarily but it will take away control of ourselves and, if we drink, all we can do is increase our likelihood of being rejected by drunks. Drinking has to be a social act, not a necessity. Let's not use the drink as a drug, much less as an excuse for our failures by saying "I didn't go because I was too drunk." Let's learn to overcome fear without the need for narcotics. Being under proper control of our social skills will help our assertiveness and ability to relate to others.
7. Sex is the most important thing in the world
There are five minutes left to close the disco, we have met a couple of girls but it is not enough for us: we want to go home together because we have not slept with anyone for a long time and, we feel that if we do not, we will be lost because sex It's the best in the world.
Despair and need are not attractive at all. We have to understand that sex is another incentive of life but nobody has died for not having sex. There are four primary motives that move the human being: hunger, thirst, sleep and sex. If we do not eat for a long time we die, if we do not drink in a long time we die, if we do not sleep for a long time we die and if we do not have sex for a long time nothing happens because nobody has died due to lack of sex, and the species Nor will it be extinguished if we don't have sex.
We have to start valuing other things, besides sex, that make us feel good; how to play sports, have fun with friends, study, learn to play an instrument ... We have to base our self-esteem on things that only depend on us and sex is not one of them. We are no less interesting or less men for not having sex every weekend.
8. I hate girls, they are all the same and I will die alone
We are in the subway, on the way home, alone or accompanied by our friends, and we don't have the strength to stand. We review how the night went and the last forces we have are invested in drawing a single conclusion: I hate girls!
Misogyny and machismo has never been attractive to someone with stable self-esteem and, in addition, we will be undermining our future interactions. Protecting our self-concept in this way will make us feel good at that time but as much as we repeat it a thousand times we will not be right. The girls could also think that of us. They might think that there are no boys who know how to treat girls and that we are all going to the same.
We better invest our energies in thinking about what we have done wrong and how we can correct our mistakes and improve in future interactions. And also, let's think about the good times; in what we have laughed with our friends, in that song that we like so much and we have danced as if there was no tomorrow. Let's be glad that we have approached a girl and we have overcome our fears a little more. Let's be glad that we are becoming more and more like that person we want to become.
In short, we have to learn to go out to have fun and not to flirt. Flirting without linking should be the slogan of this article. Being afraid of the results will make us give too much importance to something as simple and harmless as meeting new people.
Learning to develop our social skills is a slow process that will probably be full of successes and failures. Rejoicing in our successes and learning from our failures will cause us to create a belief system that plays for us. Flirting is not the most important thing in the world, we have a life full of friends and loved ones that we have to take care of, starting with ourselves.
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